


Kiss Me, Hardy!

by WriterofBagend



Category: The Hobbit
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Genderfluid Nori, Humor, M/M, Romance, background Fili/Ori - Freeform, before it's too late, take this ship away from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 12:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterofBagend/pseuds/WriterofBagend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Ori inquires about first kisses, Nori thinks back to the day that he kissed Dwalin for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me, Hardy!

**Author's Note:**

> I was doing prompts on my tumblr account writer-of-bagend and the lovely charliemayart sent me a "first kiss" prompt for Nwalin. To say the least, I went a wee bit overboard on this. 
> 
> As far as I know, this will only be one chapter (unless in my spare time I receive a prompt for some Fili/Ori that I'll add to this). Hope you like it, and comments are appreciated if you have the time! I was kinda unsure about this, so if there's a problem someone tell me ???

Nori dropped the dishes in the sink, wincing as he thought that he could've been more careful. Thankfully, just Ori was there and Dori was folding laundry in his bedroom. There was no way he could've heard the clatter, especially with how his hearing seemed to be going a bit- 

"Nori!" he heard his older brother's voice scream from his room. Ori snorted, sending Nori a you're-in-trouble glance before going back to his quill and ink. "You better be careful with those dishes! Those are my good china, and it took me a long time to save up for those-"

"Sorry!" Nori interrupted and could practically see Dori mumbling to himself about carelessness as he folded trousers with a little more anger than necessary. 

Getting back to the task at hand, he filled the sink up with water, adding a liberal amount of soup as he scrubbed the dishes. Foam and bubbles appeared, tickling his hands, and he sent some flying into the air towards Ori in an attempt to get his attention. They floated past, sometimes landing on his chestnut colored hair and popping, but he paid them no mind. 

The young dwarf hadn't been paying any attention to anybody lately. Well, except to one particular dwarf or dwarrowdam that he refused to name. 

Ah, yes, it seemed that little Ori was in love. Nori wasn't sure whether to congratulate his brother or pay the dwarf in question a visit. He wasn't that experienced in long term relationships himself, except for Dwalin and they were taking it very slow as a precaution ever since their split all those years ago. Hell, they hadn't even thought about courtship. He peeked over to look at the name Ori was scrawling in his notebook, beginning with an F- 

"Keep your eyes to yourself, Nori," said Ori warningly, shutting his notebook and attempting to glare at him. 

He shrugged, whistling innocently as he finished up with the dishes. "So, when are we gonna meet this dwarf of yours?" 

"W-what dwarf?" 

He laughed. "C'mon, Ori. Everyone in the Blue Mountains can tell you fancy someone. You don't have to tell me everything about them, just if they like you back."

Ori placed his chin on his folded hands. "You mean if h- they reciprocate my feelings?"

Nori blinked, sitting down across from him at the table. "Well, if you want to make it sound all romantic and feeling-ish, then yeah. That's not really my thing, but Dori tells me it's yours." 

Truthfully, Dori didn't have to tell him at all. That kid was always getting his hands on age appropriate romance books (there had been an encounter with a rather not age appropriate one and precautions had to be made, meaning that Dori accompanied him to his book trips). He was a hopeless romantic, it seemed, just as his older brother had a slight sticky fingers problem. 

Ori shrugged and was silent for a while, staring at his hands. "Is it normal to know someone a short while and kiss?"

"Kiss?" Nori looked at him, braided eyebrows raised. "To be honest, kissing's the only thing that you should be doing-"

"Just kissing!" said Ori, and he resisted laughing. There was a light blush coating the scribe's cheeks and he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I don't like fancying. We kissed and I don't even know if he likes me or not..."

"Aha! It's a 'he'!" 

"Now, what's all this talk about kissing?" called Dori's voice, and he walked in with the laundry basket in his hands. Ori paled, and Nori fumbled slightly with his cup before quickly recovering. 

"Ori and I encountered a rather public couple in the market," he said nonchalantly, and Ori let out a silent sigh of relief. "Kind of disgusting, but not a big problem. Brother dear, can you do me a huge favor and put my clothes in my chest?" He accepted the small pile of clothes hurled at his face, Dori going to put the rest away. 

Ori shot him a look. "Thanks for covering for me. Dori means well, but he'd just want to meet him."

"Is that so out of the question?"

His brother's face turned grave. "Yes." He was quiet, tapping his fingers against the table, a habit he had inherited from Nori. "When did you first kiss Dwalin, Nori?"

Nori blanched. "Uh-" 

 

* * * 

 

Nori vaulted over the cart, his sturdy boots landing solidly on the cobblestone ground of the apartment complexes outside of the Blue Mountains. He startled passing dwarves and a rather large and angry flock of chickens as he sprinted down the hill, his feet sometimes tripping up as he made the descent. He should have never tried stealing that retired knight's silver sword. Apparently it was a big deal, judging by the crest of the king carved onto it. 

But it was dark out by the time he was out of the knight's home (and what a nice home it was) and the journey back was only a forty-five minutes. He had timed it exactly. He always did that when he planned for jobs. Now the sun was rising, the market was beginning to bustle, and several angry guards were at his heels. He could hear their heavy footsteps the clanging of their bronze armor and steel tipped boots. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fucking shit _," he whispered to himself as he turned a corner and a spasm of pain reached his right ankle. That's what he got for jumping out of a window without any rope, but to be fair, it _had_ fallen. __

__Nori made another turn, spotting a rubbish bin. He mourned briefly that he would spell like trash for the rest of the day before diving behind it. The space from the bin and the wall was cramped, and he curled up in a ball. He repressed a groan as a rotting tomato slipped onto his lap, and tried to focus. He heard the guards passing by, then stopping right in front of him._ _

__"You think he went this way?" one asked._ _

__"Probably. Only way to go," replied another._ _

__"Wait!" said a dwarrowdam's voice urgently. "He could've hidden behind the dumpster, don't you think?"_ _

__The first snorted. "Kuvira, there's no way he could've fit there. He's not that small, and this thief is one of the vainest I've ever encountered. Doesn't like dirtying himself up. We'll split up, half of us taking the right and the other half scaling the rooftops. We all know how much he enjoys those."_ _

__Nori waited for them to leave before deciding to get offended. "Small?" he muttered. "I'm not small!" He squeezed himself out, rubbing his sore shoulders before taking the side-streets._ _

__He went to walk in the shadows of the buildings when he heard the female guard (damn her for being the only smart one) shout, "There he is!"_ _

__He bolted before they could even respond. By now there was a stitch in his side and his ankle was on fire. He made a turn. He was close to the tavern. There he'd be able to hide and put on his other clothes. Fix up his hair, put on that kohl Dori had bought for him. A pretty dwarf indeed._ _

__Breathing heavily, Nori made a sharp turn and felt his foot trip over a leg of a stand. He fell right by the vendor, the stand covering his body. He groaned, resting on his elbows and brushing the dirt off of his face. The vendor, a cheerful dwarf with ebony black braids and a handlebar mustache, looked at him curiously. He took off his hat, an amused look in his beetle black eyes._ _

__"You alright there?"_ _

__"Perfect," mumbled Nori. He heard the guards pass and sighed with relief, thanking the vendor and beginning his walk back to the tavern._ _

__He just about wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall once he saw them by the tavern, walking closer and closer to him. So he panicked. Maybe a little more than he'd like to admit. This was the closest he'd ever been to getting real time in jail. He looked around as quickly as he could, remembering a little lesson a friend of a friend had taught him._ _

__In short, Nori grabbed the nearest dwarf as the guards passed him, turned him around, and asked, "May I kiss you?"_ _

__In any other circumstances, he would have waited for a response. This dwarf just made a surprised noise, so he decided it was best to take it as a yes. He grabbed the dwarf's bushy black beard, stood on his toes, and kissed him sound on the lips. For a moment, the dwarf didn't respond. It was short and quick, and Nori pulled apart. Then the dwarf put his rough hands on his shoulders, then his cheek, then the back of his neck and their lips interlocked once more. Nori was just about certain he would definitely get to know this dwarf when he pulled apart and felt his stomach drop._ _

__The captain of the guard._ _

__"Shit," he whispered quietly. Dwalin's heavily lidded eyes just stared at his lips._ _

__Maybe he wouldn't recognize him, even though he had tackled him to the floor and arrested him at their first meeting._ _

__Then his eyes, a nice dark brown, widened in recognition._ _

__His fist flew to his jaw._ _

__And the thief was promptly arrested._ _

__The good news was that he was able to apologize to the captain when he gained consciousness._ _

__

__* * *_ _

__

__"Nori? Did you hear me?" asked Ori, snapping his fingers in front of his face and startling his brother from the awkward memory. "When did you and Dwalin first kiss?"_ _

__"A few weeks into our relationship," he lied. "Just, ah, don't move too fast with whoever you're-" he gestured vaguely, feeling his face flush. "Yeah. G'night, little brother."_ _


End file.
